During my weight loss journey, I've tried not to be offended when my skinny friends offered the use of their pregnancy clothes as my waist shrunk. I know they meant well, but still. Here I'm losing weight and need smaller pants, and the ones that are going to fit are the ones you wore when you claimed to be the size of a whale. So when I wore their pants, I too felt like a whale too.
Recently, I had a different experience with it. One of my best friends and fitness mentor got married. The stress of the event caused her to shrink to practically nothing. When I was losing weight and taking her class, I always thought she was the tiniest and cutest thing I had ever seen. In my head I would say, If only I could get that skinny.
Flash forward to last weekend. She gave me a sackful of pants that no longer fit her. She's like a size 0 now. (I try not to hate her on principle) When other friends had handed me their "big" clothes, I had mixed feelings about it. One hand smaller, yay! Other hand, you're still wearing someone else's hand me down fat clothes.
This time I was thinking my friend was on crack. She's never been fat. Ever. These are not her fat pants, these are her not "stick thin" pants. These were the pants that my skinny little friend wore all while teaching my body blast classes. And I was sure that there was no way in hell that I was going to fit into them.
You might remember last Wednesday a little post called Mirror Image. If not, look it up. Anyway, I talked about having trouble seeing a difference in the mirror. Trying on her pants was a wake up call. I had admired my friend less than a year ago in these brown cords. The same ones that I had wrapped around my butt right now. That's right, they actually fit.
The whole sackful of pants did, except the size 2, and those might fit on one leg.
I had been so sure that they couldn't fit. Because that would mean I was roughly the same size as someone I thought looked hot, and I couldn't see myself that way. But the proof is the sugar free pudding.
The stories behind the clothes we wear color our own perspective. If you're wearing your once a month pants with the drawstring, chances are you feel like you look bloated, even if you're don't. Like most things in life, I think "sexy" starts somewhere inside. Looking back, I wish I had felt every bit as proud in my friend's hand me down pregnant fat clothes. I was still getting smaller, still looking great. But the label I thought I was wearing prevented me from seeing it.