Downward facing dork

Today I filmed a yoga workout routine to put on my website in January, to coincide with the book launch.

I had a budget of zero, and used a Sony handycam. I learned a few things, the main one being that it is painful to watch yourself on screen at any size.

Teaching my regular clients is one thing, but trying to coach a camera through downward facing dog is just awkward. The more I watch the clip, the more I notice what isn't just perfect. We tend to be our worst critics. I know what I am most concerned about, trouble areas, chin wobbles, etc. So of course those are the things I focus on when rewatching the 45 minute routine. The experience is fairly excruciating.

I suppose it's time I took my own lesson from the book. You don't have to be perfect, you just have to finish. I made a yoga video that people can download starting Jan. 8th.  It's not the most professional quality and I certainly don't look like one of those Cirque De Soleil performers, sniffing my toes as they arc past my head. I'm just an average woman, mom of two, trying to stay fit and share my love of yoga with people. I think I'm the only person who was hoping it would magically transform into p90x yoga or some other workout dvd.

So my word of advice for the day would be to recognize what thoughts are coming from our own insecurities, and what fears we project onto other people. I'm sure my own fear of dorkiness and being mocked are mostly in my own head. But even if one or two nuts in the peanut gallery feel the same way, the most important thing is to reach my goals. And today that was filming a beginning yoga routine to share with the masses.

Goal achieved.

Gym-aphobic

Does the gym make you get hot flashes and break out into a sweat? Before you even walk into the door, that is.

Many people suffer from Gymaphobic tendencies. Twitching uncontrollably at the thought of spandex in full length mirrors. Random turret-like swears at the high tech weight machines. Nasty thoughts directed at the Barbie doll on the elliptical.

It's okay. You're not alone.

Getting to the gym is tough. Not only do I have to commit myself to a specified time of torture, but I also have to worry about looking good while doing it. You think losing seventy-five pounds would assuage these fears. Not so much. Now I feel like everyone's watching me. Plus, in the high intensity classes, even with all the pants sizes I've lost, I'm still the big girl in the room next to the dancing twigs with sports bras and abs.

Thing is, the only one looking at me, is probably me. Everyone else is too worried about their own backside jiggling to even notice mine.


When we build up an imaginary obstacle, the climb to get over it feels every bit the real thing.

So here are my two tips to push past the gym phobia.

Realize that even those tight bodies have bumps and lumps they want to get rid of. Otherwise they wouldn't be there.

And if you are wearing a tank top, always make sure to shave your underarms and add deodorant. Guys too.

Even good people say stupid things

Tis the season, let all something or others be forgot, and all that jazz.

Sometimes it can be tough to move past the sticks and stones. But you have to remember, even good people say stupid things, so let it go.

Last Saturday, I had a boatload of these people talking to me. My father in-law got remarried. At the reception, there were people I haven't seen in a good long while. As in 75 pounds ago.

One relative actually went up to my husband and said, "So how do like it having a beautiful wife now." My hubby, bless his heart, said, "I've always had a beautiful wife."

A friend of the family came up to me, "I had to do a double take. You look so good that I didn't recognize you." I thanked her during the rather awkward hug, then hit the punch table.

Some people mean well, but they don't have an anti-idiot filter from brain to mouth. Though annoyed, I can't let it get to me.

I want to share my rule of thumb. You should spend no more time worrying about what was said, than it took for the person to consider saying it.

That being said, take this season to let go of old wounds and start to feel lighter emotionally and that can help you be lighter physically.